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The Effects of Divorce on Children and How to Mitigate Them
Divorce can be a devastating major life change for children and adults. Divorce can affect children emotionally, psychologically, behaviorally, and socially leading to long term struggles with academics, substance use, relationships, and overall mental health. Children experiencing divorce can feel more anxiety, sadness, confusion, fear, guilt, low self-esteem, loss and grief, and an increase in depression and mood and conduct disorders. Behavioral problems can be demonstrated by social withdrawal as well as increased anger and aggression resulting in relational problems. Children and teens can also exhibit regression behaviors and riskier, self-destructive behaviors like substance use and early sexual activity. These problems can affect academic performance and eventually increase the risk of dropping out of school. Divorce can also be linked to long-term relationship distress as adults.
There are many factors that can help mitigate the risks associated with divorce. Higher risks and more negative effects are associated with the child witnessing more parental conflict and greater financial instability as a result of the divorce. The following can help to reduce the negative effects of divorce on children:
- Minimizing parental conflict: Work within the co-parenting plan to provide the best support for children and avoid speaking negatively about the other parent or fighting in front of the children.
- Emotional support: Support children’s emotional health by listening and validating their emotions. Encourage them to communicate about how they are feeling and provide reassurance and safety.
- Structure and stability: Maintaining consistent daily routines in both homes, such as mealtimes and bedtimes, can provide needed stability and feelings of normalcy.
- Professional mental health support: Finding appropriate professional mental health support can be key if a child exhibits signs of serious disturbance in emotional, social, or behavioral health such as persistent or extreme anxiety, depression, aggression, changes in eating/sleeping habits, and decreases in academic performance.
Divorce is painful and can be traumatic for children resulting in long-lasting negative effects. Working to provide calmness, stability, emotional support, and seeking professional guidance when needed can help to mitigate the risks for children of divorce.