Home Again: Strategies for a Successful Return from Deployment

Post-deployment reintegration is a pivotal and rewarding phase for service members and their families. After months or even years apart, this transition offers a meaningful opportunity to reconnect with loved ones, embrace a new routine, and navigate the journey back to life at home and within the community. While the process can come with some challenges, families can transform them into opportunities for deeper connection and growth.

What does it mean to reintegrate?

Reintegration refers to the process of transitioning back into daily life and responsibilities or reestablishing normalcy after serving a military deployment. This process can present a unique set of circumstances for both the service member and the family they are coming home to. “Time apart means people change,” says Danette Fessler, Team Lead at Centerstone, “Because of this, it can be especially challenging for families as they typically have to take on different roles when their service member leaves.” The service member also goes through challenges and stressors when they’re on deployment which means they’re coming together at new phases in their lives.

How can I prepare myself for reintegration?

“Allow yourself time to ease back in and try not to jump fully back into the swing of things on day one,” Fessler adds. Additionally, communicate with your family or spouse ahead of time and talk about what the expectations will be upon your return and what you’re going to do to re-establish a routine.Keep in mind that if you’ve been on more than one deployment, this reintegration process may look different than others.

Both service members and their families should be aware of the likelihood of post-deployment syndrome where those who deployed to high-conflict regions may have experienced trauma or injury. This can lead to mental health symptoms like post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, anxiety, and substance use. For families who are supporting their returning service member, be aware of the signs of post-deployment syndrome and encourage the service member to seek help right away if symptoms arise.

Centerstone’s top five reintegration tips

While the adjustment takes time and can be a difficult process for all involved, there are a few things you can do to help make the transition a little smoother.

1. Avoid comparing who had it worse. Service members often endure intense stress during deployment, facing long hours, sleep deprivation, and cramped living conditions. Meanwhile, spouses at home face their own set of challenges, including new responsibilities and adapting to life without their partner. Both experiences are difficult in unique ways, and acknowledging each other’s struggles is key to fostering understanding.
2. Plan activities as a couple or as a family, while also factoring in alone time. Both the service member and their spouse likely didn’t have much alone time during the deployment. “Having a healthy relationship is the best thing you can do for your children and family,” says Fessler. “So, prioritize one-on-one time with your spouse, spending time as a family, and alone.”
3. Take time to build trust with intimacy. Not everyone returns back from deployment ready to take that step right away, so take time to get to know each other, communicate, and reestablish trust before going to the next level of intimacy in your relationship.
4. Take your time. Allow yourself the time to adjust and ease back into your routine. Avoid stepping in as an authoritative figure or making significant family decisions immediately. Instead, take a step back to observe how things have evolved in your absence, noting any changes within the family dynamic. This will help you smoothly transition into your roles and responsibilities.
5. Seek support as soon as you need it. Reach out and talk to other spouses or get professional support. There is no need to go through this process alone.

Post-deployment reintegration is a journey that requires patience, understanding, and open communication. While the challenges may feel overwhelming at times, they also present opportunities for growth, resilience, and deeper connections. Reintegration is not about returning to life as it was before, but about building a new “normal” together—one that honors the experiences of deployment while paving the way for a fulfilling future.

If you and your family are in need of additional support as you navigate the reintegration process, Centerstone is here for you. Call us at (866) 726-4560 or visit our website to learn more about our military services.

Danette Fessler is a military spouse of 17 years and is a co-chair of Centerstone’s Veterans & Military Families Employee Resource Group.