For many people experiencing domestic violence, the signs aren’t always obvious — even to themselves. Abusive behaviors often happen behind closed doors, slowly chipping away at someone’s confidence, independence, and safety. By learning what domestic violence looks like and how to respond with empathy and support, we can help survivors feel seen, believed, and supported.

What is Domestic Violence?

Domestic violence is abusive behavior in which one individual gains power and control over another. It can occur in romantic, platonic, or familial relationships. This abuse may be physical, emotional, financial, or sexual, and can also involve tactics like shame, intimidation, and manipulation.

Recognizing the Signs

“The signs of abuse are not always obvious and can vary depending on the type of violence,” says Tari Allan, Trauma Services Manager at Centerstone. Physical indicators may include bruises, cuts, or other injuries, often hidden or explained away. Emotional and behavioral signs can include fear, controlled behavior, withdrawal from loved ones, or restricted social interactions.

Myth vs. Truth: Common Misconceptions About Domestic Violence

• Myth: Only women can be victims.
  • Truth: A Centers for Disease Control (CDC) report found that approximately 1 in 10 men in the U.S. have experienced sexual violence, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner at some point in their lifetime.
• Myth: It is easy to leave an abusive relationship.
  • Truth: Leaving is rarely easy or safe. In fact, the most dangerous time in an abusive relationship can be when the victim decides to leave.
• Myth: Calling the police or filing an order of protection will make the abuse stop.
  • Truth: Legal protections aren’t always effective, nor do they guarantee safety for the victim.

How to Support Someone Experiencing Abuse

Helpful ways to respond:

• Ensure confidentiality
• Listen without judgement
• Validate their feelings and experiences
• Gently offer to help and connect them with resources

“Be mindful of potential technology tracking,” Allan adds. “Offer safe alternatives, such as researching resources for them or providing printed materials they can review safely.”

What not to say:

• “Why don’t you just leave?”
• “Just get a restraining order.”
• “Just call the police.”

These responses can minimize the danger and complexity of the situation that the victim is facing.

The Impact of Domestic Violence on Mental Health

Domestic violence is a deep betrayal of trust and love that often leaves lasting emotional effects. Survivors may experience depression, anxiety, or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Because trauma can affect mood, behavior, and focus, survivors are sometimes misdiagnosed with conditions like bipolar disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, or attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). These symptoms can also be used by abusers to discredit victims and maintain control, making understanding trauma’s impact vital to offering compassionate support.

Resources and Support

While legal protections can be limited, survivors have options. Domestic violence shelters offer safe housing, victim advocates provide guidance and support, and 24/7 helplines connect individuals to critical resources.

Every Survivor’s Journey Is Unique

Leaving an abusive relationship is rarely simple or quick. Survivors face many barriers, and their decisions should always be respected. Even small acts of compassion can help survivors feel seen, believed, and less alone. If you are ready to start your journey of healing, Centerstone is here for you. Visit our website to learn more about our counseling services or call us at 877-HOPE123 (877-467-3123) to get started today.