Self-harm

Why do people self-harm?

Your teenage years can be challenging. You may experience painful circumstances like breakups, friendship drama, complicated relationships with your parents, bullying or low self-esteem. It’s normal to feel sad, anxious, depressed, overwhelmed, confused, angry or frustrated about these problems. Some people turn to self-harm to get relief from these emotions.

What is self-harm?

Self-harm means hurting yourself on purpose. It can include anything that causes pain and damage to your body, such as:

• Burning
• Cutting
• Picking at wounds
• Hitting or punching
• Pulling out hair
• Piercing your skin with sharp objects
• Carving symbols or words into your skin

Why people self-harm

You might turn to self-harm to:

• Control the emotional pain you feel in other areas of your life.
• Process your feelings.
• Stop feeling numb.
• Punish yourself.
• Express feelings you’re too embarrassed to show.

Most of the time, when people hurt themselves, they’re not doing so as a suicide attempt, but as a way to release painful emotions.

Self-harm isn’t a long-term solution to your problems and can leave lasting consequences, such as scars and mental and emotional issues.

Who’s at risk for self-harm?

Self-harm is usually more common in people who:

• Have low self-esteem
• Have mental disorders, such as eating disorders, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and certain personality disorders
• Abuse alcohol or drugs
• Have friends who self-harm
• Have experienced abuse or trauma as children
• Have experienced discrimination or bullying

Warning signs of self-harm

Self-harm may make a person feel ashamed or embarrassed, so they don’t ask for help. Here are some signs someone you know may be harming themselves:

• Unexplained injuries
• Scars
• Wearing long pants or sleeves in hot weather
• Keeping sharp objects nearby for no apparent reason
• Fresh bruises, cuts, burns or scratches
• Saying they feel worthless, helpless or hopeless
• Trouble with their relationships
• Behavioral and emotional issues like impulsiveness, instability or unpredictability

If someone confides in you that they self-harm, do your best to be as nonjudgmental as possible. Offer to go with them to tell a trusted adult for help.

What to do if you’re hurting yourself

It’s normal to need ways to cope with your feelings, but it’s possible to do so in a healthy, safe way. You don’t have to stay stuck in the cycle of self-harm. Here are some things you can do if you want to hurt yourself.

Remove yourself from the temptation. If you’re tempted to hurt yourself, get away from any object or situation that makes you feel like harming yourself.

Tell a trusted adult. Then, tell an adult who can help. A trusted adult could be a:

• Parent
• Grandparent
• Aunt or uncle
• Older sibling or cousin
• Teacher
• Guidance counselor
• School nurse
• Doctor
• Neighbor
• Parent of a friend
• Coach
• Therapist
• Police officer

You can also call the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 or Centerstone’s crisis line:

• Florida: 941-782-4617
• Illinois: 855-608-3560
• Indiana: 800-832-5442
• Tennessee: 800-681-7444
• Military Services: 866-781-8010

Find healthy ways to cope. Research has shown that meditation and creating art can help people process their emotions. So, the next time you feel like hurting yourself, try listening to a guided meditation in an app or on YouTube or doodling, drawing or playing music.

You can also name why you’re hurting yourself and what feeling you’re after. Then, see if there’s a way to safely get the same result. If you’re looking for a physical sensation, go for a run or take a kickboxing class. If you want to express your emotions, journal in a notebook or on your phone.

Talk to a professional. Self-harm is serious, so talking to a pro is essential. A counselor or therapist can help you figure out why you want to hurt yourself and develop personalized ways to cope. While it can be uncomfortable to open up to a mental health professional, know that it’s their job to help you, not judge you. They can be a powerful resource in helping you get better.

Need more info? Ask an Expert.

Sources:
MedlinePlus.gov: Self-Harm
NIH: News in Health: Hurtful Emotions
Crisis Text Line

Suicide

What is suicide?

Suicide means causing yourself to die.

What should I do if I’m thinking about suicide or if I know someone who is?

Call a Centerstone Crisis Line or call/text the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. Both lines are available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. The service is available to anyone. All calls are confidential.

If you know someone who is considering suicide, do not leave them alone. Try to get your loved one to seek immediate help from their doctor or hospital emergency room, or call 911.

Remove any access they may have to guns or other potential tools for suicide, including medications.

Tell someone so they can help you. That someone can be any adult that you trust – parents, teachers, police officers, doctors, therapists.

What should I do if I need help?

Contact us to learn more about suicide prevention and how we can help. If you feel like you need immediate help, call 988 or visit 988lifeline.org to chat with someone 24/7.

Is suicide a big problem in the world?

Yes. Suicide is the 9^th-leading cause of death in the United States, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), and the 2nd leading cause of death among individuals between ages 10 and 24.

According to the Jason Foundation, more teenagers and young adults die from suicide than from cancer, heart disease, AIDS, birth defects, stroke, pneumonia, influenza and chronic lung disease, combined.

Each day in our nation, there are an average of over 3,703 attempts by young people grades 9-12. If these percentages are additionally applied to grades 7 & 8, the numbers would be higher.

Frequently asked questions

Are there warning signs for suicide?

Yes, the following are common warning signs for people who are thinking about suicide:

• talking about wanting to die or to kill themselves
• looking for a way to kill themselves, such as searching online or buying a gun
• talking about feeling hopeless or having no reason to live
• talking about feeling trapped or in unbearable pain
• talking about being a burden to others
• increasing the use of alcohol or drugs
• acting anxious or agitated; behaving recklessly
• sleeping too little or too much
• withdrawing or isolating themselves
• showing rage or talking about seeking revenge
• displaying extreme mood swings

Do people who threaten suicide just want the attention?

No. People who threaten suicide should always be taken seriously. Helping people who say they are thinking about suicide may save their life. 

Can suicide be prevented?

Yes. Learn more about the Zero Suicide Initiative and read our latest Health & Wellness articles on suicide prevention.

If you are in crisis, please call our crisis lines, call 911, call or text 988 for the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline  or visit the nearest emergency room.

If you need help dealing with depression or have other mental health concerns, contact us today.

We know that there isn’t one solution that works for everyone, so our treatment options include you in the decision-making process.

Being a teenager is hard. That’s why we have answers to a lot of common questions that teens might have – about mental health, drugs and alcohol, sex and relationships, social media and internet safety, bullying and more on our TEEN PAGE.

If you are a teen or parent in crisis, call the Centerstone Crisis Line nearest you now.