Emotions are like clouds in the sky, coming and passing easily, until they turn into the stinky trash in the corner of your room that you try desperately to ignore. What causes this shift, from something to be observed to something that needs Febreze just to keep ignoring? Avoidance. When we avoid the things that are uncomfortable, that are scary, that we don’t want to look at, they build up. They stay and keep us from living a life where we can breathe freely.

Why would our brain do something that inevitably hurts us? Because it works – at least for a minute, or a day. I say, No, I don’t want to feel this. I don’t want to think of this memory, so I do something else, I think something else, I avoid. And it works, until it doesn’t. It works until I do it for so long that the consequences build and become unbearable.

The long-term impacts of avoidance are many and vary from person to person. Some turn to substances to maintain avoidance. Some to self-harm. For others, the attempt to not feel “bad” emotions leads to numbness and isolation. Avoidance has even been shown to affect the body and our health in general. We may stop going places we used to enjoy or turn to comfort eating every night. We cancel plans and step away from activities that once brought us joy. The trash gets stinkier, and we stay unwell.

Maybe now is the time you’ve started to notice the trash, realizing you can’t ignore it anymore. The emotions feel bigger, and the consequences harder to tolerate. It can feel overwhelming to know where to start. It’s tempting to put it off one more day, but something inside you whispers that today is the day. How do we go about change? How can something that feels insurmountable become manageable? The answer is: you don’t have to do this alone. You are worth not doing this alone.

To counter avoidance, we have to face what scares us. To heal, we have to go through it. By acknowledging and working on the pain, we can move toward healing. We can let emotions return to being like clouds in the sky—noticed, acknowledged, and allowed to pass. Sometimes they will be big and fluffy, sometimes dark and stormy. But they will come, and they will go. Having support, learning new skills, and finding the courage to face discomfort will light the path forward.

Getting to the new place we want to be requires the willingness to be uncomfortable and confront what we’ve avoided. It is never too late, and it can start as simply as recognizing and naming the feeling. But simple doesn’t mean easy—and that’s where therapy and support can become invaluable tools for success.

We are all worthy of facing what scares us and finding healing on the other side. So when you say, I don’t know what to do. I am tired of feeling this way. I don’t want to cope like this anymore, just remember that help and healing are only a phone call away. It is never too late to begin taking out the trash, and with help, the task becomes more realistic and easier to manage. Now is a good time to clear the air and breathe deeply again.