Navigating Holiday Gift-Giving Expectations with Kids

The holiday season often brings joy, excitement, and the anticipation of unwrapping gifts, but it can also create unrealistic expectations for children. For parents, setting clear and healthy boundaries around gift-giving is essential to foster gratitude, prevent disappointment, and focus on the true spirit of the holidays. Whether it’s managing the number of gifts or teaching kids about budgeting, aligning expectations can turn the holidays into a meaningful and memorable experience for the whole family.

Talking about the number of gifts

Like adults, kids may see different families with varying gift-giving styles. Jessica Kruger, Program Manager at Centerstone, says that being clear about the ‘why’ behind the expectations you’re setting is key. “Setting expectations is never going to harm you, it’s only ever going to prevent a misunderstanding,” says Kruger. Additionally, it can be helpful for kids to understand why their family’s celebrations and gift-giving may look different from their friends or classmates. This can serve as a great time to talk to kids about budgets in a casual, age-appropriate way that won’t cause them to feel stressed. “Communicate to them the needs and priorities of your family,” Kruger adds, “this will help them understand the ‘why’ behind the ‘what’.” 

Talking about budgeting

Sometimes, parents with a limited budget may struggle with feeling like they aren’t giving their kids enough. Kruger challenges this thought by asking parents a simple question – what do you deem to be enough? “There is no predetermined amount of gifts or amount of money to spend or type of gift that is going to make your child happier or worse off,” Kruger notes, “Your presence in their life is what truly matters and is what will ultimately mean the most to them.” So talk with your children about budget-friendly activities you can do during the holiday season. You could suggest baking cookies at home, driving through your neighborhood to look at holiday lights, crafting decorations, or finding ways to volunteer in your community. As they get older, kids likely won’t remember how many gifts they received or how much money was spent on them, but they are more likely to remember the quality time spent together.

Talking to your family about boundaries

When discussing gift-giving boundaries with family members or others who may give gifts to your children, it’s important to communicate clearly and respectfully. Consider politely explaining which types of gifts are not appropriate and, if you feel comfortable, sharing the reasoning behind your preferences.

Finally, Kruger wants to remind parents to be kind to themselves. Remember that there is no perfect way to celebrate the holidays and if your situation falls short of the picture-perfect image in your head, it isn’t any less special. Perfection shouldn’t be the goal but rather, whatever is going to make your family the happiest and allow you the opportunity to spend quality time together.

If you need assistance setting and discussing your boundaries with your kids and family members, Centerstone can help. Call us at 1-877-HOPE123 (1-877-467-3123) or visit our counseling services page to get connected with care today.