Keeping the Peace: How to Avoid Holiday Conflict with Loved Ones

The holiday season is often filled with joy, connection, and celebration, but it can also be a time when tensions rise and conflicts emerge, especially during conversations with loved ones. Whether it’s differing opinions, long-standing disagreements, or stress from holiday preparations, the atmosphere can sometimes shift from festive to tense. However, with a little mindfulness and preparation, it’s possible to navigate these conversations with care, ensuring that the time spent together remains warm and meaningful. Here’s how to avoid conflict and foster positive communication during the holidays.

Exploring the source of conflict

Expectations tend to be higher during the holidays than other times of the year. People often have more to check off of their to-do list when they may already feel stretched thin to begin with. It is also a time where larger groups of people come together who aren’t always on the same page about things whether it’s food preferences, alcohol consumption, parenting, politics, or religion. With the potential for this whirlwind of conflicting principles in one room, there is a higher potential to feel some tension.

Taking steps to avoid it

“Taking time to identify your own boundaries, meaning what you are and aren’t willing to discuss, can help to set the foundation for how you engage during holiday engagements,” says Lisa Eggebeen, Vice President of Specialty Clinics at Centerstone. This doesn’t mean that other people in the room won’t bring up potentially controversial topics, but leaning away from rather than into those conversations can save you a great deal emotional energy. Setting boundaries for yourself and the things you can control through the holiday season is important as we can only control so much. 

Staying calm in a tense conversation

“Identifying our own positive coping skills prior to any stressful situation is key to mental wellness all the time, but especially during the holidays,” adds Eggebeen. Whether you need to take a breather and walk around the block or find your favorite person in the room to talk privately, do whatever you need to bring your stress level down. 

Pivoting the conversation

Non-verbal ques and how you are communicating can be incredibly helpful in leading the conversation in a more positive way. Things like keeping your voice in your regular tone, maintaining eye contact, and refraining from showing big emotions is a good place to start.

You can often tell when a conversation is no longer productive when people are only listening to respond, are unwilling to hear the other person out, or are just talking in circles. In these cases, it may be best to agree to disagree and move on. Let it be known that all parties are entitled to their beliefs and feelings, even if they differ.

The holidays can be a joyful yet stressful time. If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed and in need of additional support for your mental well-being, Centerstone is here. Visit our counseling services page or call us at 877-HOPE123 (1-877-467-3123) to learn more.