Getting Over Past Mistakes

Why it’s Important to Get Over Past Mistakes

Mistakes.

We’ve all made them. In fact, they’re a part of life. But what would you do differently if you had the chance? Ask someone about their regrets and you will learn a lot. That’s because everyone can think of at least one thing they wish they had done another way. But the guilt over past mistakes can become paralyzing if it consumes us. Regrets can either burden your life or motivate you to move forward. You cannot undo or redo what has been done or not done. You can, however, take steps to get over the guilt and move past regrets.

Take a look at these steps for reframing your regrets and doubts of the past, and turn them into the possibilities of today.

Five Tips For Getting Over Past Mistakes

1. Understanding Your Mistakes

Occasionally, we go through life unhappily and not truly knowing why. Regret over a past mistake could be causing you to feel this way. Being regretful involves feeling bad about something you wish you had done differently. You may regret things you did do (regret of action), or regret things you didn’t do (regret of inaction). It’s important to understand the source of your remorse and to acknowledge your rationale for doing, or not doing, whatever happened at the time.

2. Take Time To Grieve

Before you can accept that what’s done is done, you need to grieve the regrets that are presently holding you hostage. If you feel you mistakenly missed out on an opportunity because of past decisions, such as not having children or not being closer with a family member, take the time to grieve that loss. If it’s not too late to alter the feeling of regret by taking some kind of action,m then take advantage of the opportunity now. Sometimes we have the opportunity to apologize if we regret how we handled a situation with another person. If there is something you can do now, do it!

3. Express Your Feelings

Write your feelings out – if only just for yourself. It can be helpful to get the feelings out of your head and onto paper. Write them in a journal, in an email to yourself, or even on a piece of paper you wish to destroy at a later date. Furthermore, while you’re in the process of writing, remove the words, “If only…then” from your vocabulary. Understand that worrying about the past is a potent prescription for stress and health problems. Do not make the guilty feelings more powerful by your fixation with them, you deserve to be kind to yourself.

4. Accept Your Past Mistakes

Some regrets can be devastating and are not to be minimized, but there is no “delete” button for past actions or inactions. And while it may be very difficult, try to find some element of good that has come from that situation. We have no choice but to accept what has happened and to think of the current options we do have. And, while you may not be able to get over the consequences of prior decisions, you can let go of obsessing over them.

5. Learn From Your Mistakes

Make changes in your behavior to avoid similar faulty situations and decisions that brought you guilt in the past. Do not lose the lesson from the supposed loss. Consider what you could do differently today and start making those positive changes. How can you be a better parent, a better friend, or a better spouse?

While it can be hard to forgive yourself for past mistakes and regrets, you never know what new opportunities you could be missing out on by dwelling on them. If you are experiencing feelings of depression or anxiety due to your past and looking for extra help moving forward, Centerstone is here for you. Call 1-887-HOPE123 (877-467-3123) or visit our counseling services page to get connected with care.