Jealousy And Relationships

Jealousy can be a powerful and painful emotion that has the power end almost any relationship. If left untreated, jealousy can create a permanent wedge between you and your partner, while negatively affecting future relationships.

Where Does Jealousy Come From?

Jealousy can arise from insecurity within oneself and a lack of trust for your partner. While the terms jealousy and envy have been used interchangeably, they are different emotions. Jealousy involves a sense of possessiveness and entitlement whereas envy causes someone to want what another person has – their possessions, positions, privileges, or who they are as a person.

When envy and jealousy get out of control, it can be highly destructive.

How To Get Over Jealousy

Openly sharing your feelings about being insecure or uncertain in your relationship is a great way to begin the conversation. During this time, remember to speak from your heart, avoid justifying your actions, refrain from making accusations, and avoid being confrontational. View this time as an opportunity for open communication and expansion of understanding for both partners.

Tame Your Imagination

Feelings that start off in our heads hold very real power that can soon spark out of control and cause such devastating damage. Don’t blow things out of proportion by going over them repeatedly in your mind. It can be helpful to recognize what triggers your feelings of jealousy, and determine whether you have concrete evidence to validate them. Jealousy knows no rational thinking, so it may be helpful to do a reality check by assessing your obsessive thoughts with what you actually know or have seen. Disrupt thoughts of conspiracy and replace them with real facts.

How To Let Go Of The Past

Constantly going over negative events of the past robs you of the present and can make you feel bad. It is important to trust and have complete faith in your partner to prevent jealous feelings toward them. It can be helpful to view each day with your partner as a fresh start and opportunity to grow together, as opposed to rehashing and reliving your past experiences of doubt and despair.

The most likely cause of feelings of jealousy is fear of your partner leaving you. But it’s important to keep in mind that by acting on these feelings without concrete reason can lead you to push them away anyway. Jealousy is not only be destructive, but can also be a lonely emotion, too.

How Do I Handle A Jealous Partner?

Having a jealous partner can be challenging, but there are things you can do to encourage a healthier relationship:

• Listen to your partner and hear all of their concerns
• If you know certain behaviors trigger your partner’s jealousy, change them if you can
• Point out what you most appreciate about them and offer reassurance that you are committed to the relationship
• Tell your partner what you most want in your relationship. Don’t just say, “I want you to stop being jealous!”

Keep in mind it takes both people to make a great relationship. However, if present jealousy is causing challenges in your relationship and you aren’t sure how to cope, Centerstone can help. Call us at 877-HOPE123 (1-877-3123) or visit our counseling services page to learn more.