Some people experience differences that can cause a relationship to dissipate. Whether it stemmed from a misunderstanding or a feud, a dispute from the past can prevent loved ones from reconciling. And while some relationships are not meant to be rebuilt, some can be. Here are five key steps you can take to help restore a relationship.

1. Know yourself

Before you attempt to contact an estranged friend or relative, you should first assess your motive. Why is it important for you to make amends with this person? Are you looking for forgiveness? Do you want to better understand their perspective? Are simply tired of holding a grudge? Knowing your motivation can help you keep navigate the best course of action.

2. Stay humble 

In going through this process, you will have to accept that despite positive efforts made on your end, there are no guarantees for reconciliation. Putting yourself out there can be scary, especially in such a vulnerable position, and this may mean confronting some uncomfortable emotions and past wrongdoings.

3. Listen for understanding

Communication has little value without active listening. Make a genuine effort to understand the other person’s perspective before offering your own. Though it can be difficult, aim to listen without judgment or interruption. Jumping to defend your position too soon may only reignite the conflict that caused the conflict in the first place.

4. Offer forgiveness

Forgiveness is a powerful tool in any relationship. You must be willing to offer forgiveness if you truly want to move beyond the past.

Offering forgiveness does not necessarily mean you agree with the other person, rather, it means choosing not to let your differences define what comes next. Remember, while you may be ready to reunite with your friend or family member, they may need time to think through your proposal and their response.

5. Have realistic expectations

Without realistic expectations, your hope for renewal may lead to further hurt. Keep in mind that your friend or family member may not be ready, or willing, to rebuild the relationship or offer forgiveness. While you can’t control their response, you must respect their decision either way.

If you are in the process of rebuilding a lost relationship and are in need of additional support as you navigate this challenging journey, Centerstone is here for you.